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英语笑话简单易懂爆笑_英语笑话

tamoadmin 2024-09-23 人已围观

简介1.英语笑话带翻译2.有关英语小笑话带翻译短一些:英语小笑话带翻译简短3.英语的小短笑话4.英语笑话带翻译 短一些5.英语幽默短笑话10篇6.英语小笑话(带翻译)短些 又短又好笑的英语笑话  总是有些时候莫名其妙的不开心,心情不佳的时候就会办什么都不在状态,你会这样么?这里我收集整理了又短又好笑的英语笑话,让你的心情速速好起来。 又短又好笑的英语笑

1.英语笑话带翻译

2.有关英语小笑话带翻译短一些:英语小笑话带翻译简短

3.英语的小短笑话

4.英语笑话带翻译 短一些

5.英语幽默短笑话10篇

6.英语小笑话(带翻译)短些

英语笑话简单易懂爆笑_英语笑话

又短又好笑的英语笑话

 总是有些时候莫名其妙的不开心,心情不佳的时候就会办什么都不在状态,你会这样么?这里我收集整理了又短又好笑的英语笑话,让你的心情速速好起来。

又短又好笑的英语笑话一:The cowboy without a horse

 A cowboy rode into town and stopped at the saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on newcomers. When he finished, he found his horse had been stolen.

 He comes back into the bar, handily flips his gun into the air, catches it above his head without even looking and fires a shot into the ceiling. "Who stole my horse?" he yelled with surprising forcefulness.

 No one answered.

 "I'm gonna have another beer and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I'm finished, I'm gonna do what I dun back in Texas and I don't want to have to do what I dun back in Texas!"

 Some of the locals shifted restlessly.

 He had another beer, walked outside, and his horse was back! He saddled up and starte.

又短又好笑的英语笑话二:How To Deal with a Doberman

 A highly timid little man, Casper Milquetoast, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, 'Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?'

 A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said, 'It's my dog. Why?'

 'Well,' squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, 'I believe my dog just killed it, sir.'

 'What?' roared the big man in disbelief. 'What in the hell kind of dog do you have?'

 'Sir,' answered the little man, 'It's a four week old puppy.'

 'Bull!' roared the biker, 'How could your puppy kill my Doberman?'

 'It appears that he choked on it, sir.'

又短又好笑的英语笑话三:Who is Stupid?

 A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"

 Little Johnny then stood up.

 The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?"

 "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

 中文:

 一个老师在对学生们讲心理学,?谁认为自己蠢就站起来她一开始就说。

 小约翰尼站了起来。

 ?你认为你很蠢吗,小约翰尼老师问。

 ?不是的,老师,我只是不喜欢看你一个人站着。?

又短又好笑的英语笑话四:I knew I could count on you!

 Smith goes to see his boss in the front office. "Boss," he says: "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage."

 "We're short-handed, Smith." the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off."

 "Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I knew I could count on you!"

 中文:

 史密斯去找他的'老板。?老板,我们家明天有很重的工作要做,我妻子让我修阁楼和车库。?

 ?可我们很缺人,史密斯。?老板答道,?我不可能放你的假。?

 ?谢谢,老板。?史密斯说,?我就知道你会帮我。?

又短又好笑的英语笑话五:Dog in heat

 A little girl asked her Mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?" Mom says, "No, because the dog is in heat." "What does that mean?" asked the child. "Go ask your father. I think he is in the garage."

 The little girl went to the garage and asked "Dad, may I take Susie for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said that Susie was in heat, and to come talk to you."

 Dad said, " Bring Susie over here" He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's rear-end with it and said, "Okay, you can go now, but keep Susie on the leash and only go one time around the block." The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with NO DOG on the leash.

 Dad asked, "Where is Susie?"

 The little girl said, "She will be here in a minute, she ran out of gas about halfway down the block and another dog is pushing her home."

?

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英语笑话带翻译

非常短的英语小笑话

 当听别人说笑话的时候觉得不大好笑,还会觉得冷很冷,可是自己看的时候,却笑到不行,你有这样的经历么?以下的非常短的英语小笑话,希望能让你欢乐笑不停。

非常短的英语小笑话(一)

 纹身

 A few months after Tom and I were married一during World War II, he was shipped off to Pearl Harbor. In one of his first letters,he wrote,"I'm going to have a Navy battle-ship tattooed on my chest.?

 二战中,汤姆和我刚结婚几个月,他就被派到珍珠港。在他早期的一封信中,他写道:?我想把海军战舰纹刻在胸前。?

 Instead of pleading, I answered simply,?Send me a pitcture of your tattoo,and I'll have a duplicate put on my chest. "

 我没有劝阻,只是简单地回了信:?给我寄一张你纹旁的照片来,然后我也在我的'胸前仿纹一个。?

 We have been married for 51 years. Neither of us has a tattoo.

 我们现在已结婚51年了,谁也没纹过身。

非常短的英语小笑话(二)

 关心

 A customer at my teller's window was grumbling about the low interest rate on his savings account. He finally said he was just going to take all his money out of the bank,dig a hole in his back yard and bury it.

 一位顾客站在我的出纳窗口前,埋怨存钱的利率太低。最后,他说他妥把所有的钱从银行里取出来,在自家后院挖个坑,把钱理了。

 The teller next to rne leaned over. "Sir,I couldn't help overhearing. Tell me, what is your address?".

 隔壁窗口的出纳员探过身来说:?先生,我实在不怒愉听,但还是听到了,告诉我,您住在什么地才?

非常短的英语小笑话(三)

 过分紧张

 My little girl loves animals,but one day she was bitten by a small field mouse she'd found. She carried it home in her pocket and told me what happened. Worried about rabies,I called our town humane society and was told that the animal would have to be examined, and they'd send someone for it.

 我的小女儿喜欢动物。但有一天,她被一只她找到的小田鼠咬了一口。她把那小动物放在口袋里带了回来,并把所发生的一切都告诉了我。由于害怕她被传染上鼠痊,我给镇上的私区医院打了电话。他们告诉我这个小动物应被检查一下,还说他们会派人去把它取走。

 When the humane-society truck pulled up,a big man got out,put on a pair of gauntlets and took a capture stick and a big cage from the back of the truck. Trying not to laugh, I handed him a small shoe box containing the mouse.

 社区医院的卡车停在了我家门口,一个大个子下了车,他戴上了防护手套,从车的后箱里取出一根棍子和一个笼子。我

 尽量克制自己不笑出来,把那装有小田鼠的杜盒子递给了他。

 "Lady,"he said,seeing my expression, "they only told me it was a wild animal. "

 ?太太,?当他看到我的表情时他说,?他们只告诉我说是好生动物。?

非常短的英语小笑话(四)

 异奇!

 My first waitressing job was in a coffee shop. We featured a lunch special called "Tuna Salad Surprise",a tuna sandwich served with soup and chips. When our sandwich maker didn't show up for work one hectic Saturday,we had to prepare our own sandwiches.

 我做招待工作始于咖啡店。我们有道午餐特餐叫?金枪鱼沙拉异奇?。这个套餐实际上就是把金枪鱼三明治、汤、薯条技在一起吃.一个例霉竹星期六,我们那做特餐三明治的

 厨师没来上班,我们只好自己准备三明治。

 A man sat down and ordered the special. I raced to the sandwich board,prepared the order,poured his coffee and rushed to the next customer. Later,as I delivered his check,he noted politely that he had never. eaten a potato-salad sandwich before. Horrified at my mistake,I asked,?Why didn't you tell me it was potato salad instead of tuna?"

 一位男食客坐下来,要了这道特餐。我跑到了三明治拒台,替他准备好了套餐,又给他倒了一杯咖啡,就开始招待下一位食容。不久,我把帐单递给了要特餐的食客.他很礼

 貌地说,他从没吃过土豆沙拉三明治。这时我才意识到我把三明治弄错了,我真有点害怕了。我问他:?你为什么不早告诉我特餐是土豆沙拉而不是金枪鱼沙拉呢?

 "I thought that was the surprise.?

 ?我还以为那就是所谓的异奇呢.

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有关英语小笑话带翻译短一些:英语小笑话带翻译简短

英语笑话带翻译3篇

 笑话往往是指能引人发笑的`谈话或故事。作为文体,篇幅短小,故事情节简单而巧妙,往往出人意料,取得令人捧腹的艺术效果。以下是我整理的英语笑话带翻译,供大家欣赏学习!

英语笑话带翻译1

 How Did You Ever Get Here

 你是怎样来的?

 One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. "It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two."

 一个冬天的早晨,一名雇员解释他为什么迟到了四十五分钟才起来上班。“外面太滑了,我每向前迈一步,就要向后退两步。”

 The boss eyed him suspiciously. "Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?"

 老板狐疑地看着他。“噢,是吗?那你是怎样到这里来的?”

 "I finally gave up," he said, "and started for home."

 “后来我决定放弃,”他说,“然后我就往家里走。”

英语笑话带翻译2

 One Side of the Case

 一面之辞

 A judge asked our group of potential jurors whether anyone should be excused, and one man raised his hand.

 一位法官问我们这群修补陪审员是否有人应当免权。一个人举起了手。

 "I can't hear out of my left ear," the man told the judge.

 “我的左耳听不见。”那人告诉法官。

 "Can you hear out of your right ear?" the judge asked. The man nodded his head.

 “你的右边耳朵听得见吗?”法官问道。那人点了点头。

 "You'll be allowed to serve on the jury," the judge declared. "We only listen to one side of the case at a time."

 “你将被允许加入陪审团,”法官宣布。“我们每次只听一面之辞。

英语笑话带翻译3

 Early Shopper

 采购过早

 It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.

 那天是圣诞节,法官在审讯时也有点恻隐之心。“你为什么而被起诉?”他问。

 "Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.

 “采购圣诞节物品过早。”被告答。

 "That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"

 “这不算犯法,”法官回答,“你购物多早?”

 "Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.

 在商店开门之前,“应道。

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英语的小短笑话

笑话是文化的重要组成部分,通过笑话,我们可以了解一个国家的文化内涵。我精心收集了有关短一些的英语小笑话带翻译,供大家欣赏学习!

有关短一些的英语小笑话带翻译篇1

i'll see to the rest

a guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage.

"come on, miss!" he shouted. "shut the door, please!"

"oh, i just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back.

"you just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and i'll see to the rest."

其余的事由我负责

一位车上的列车员刚发出信号让火车启动,这时他看见一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站台上一节打开的车厢门旁边,跟车厢里另一位漂亮姑娘在说话。

快点,**!?他喊道:?请把门关上。?

噢,我还没有和妹妹吻别呢。?她回答道。

请把门关上好了,?列车员说:?其余的事由我负责。?

 有关短一些的英语小笑话带翻译篇2

first flight

mr. johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about air accidents, so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, mr. johnson was very worried about accepting. finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and mr. johnson boarded the plane.

his friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. mr. johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes.

after a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "look at those people down there. they look as small as ants, don't they?"

"those are ants," answered his friend. "we're still on the ground."

第一次坐飞机

约翰逊先生从前未乘过飞机,他读过许多关于飞行事故的报道。所以,有一天一位朋友邀请他乘自己的小飞机飞行时,约翰逊先生非常担心,不敢接受。不过,由于朋友不断保证说飞行是很安全的,约翰逊先生终于被说服了,登上了飞机。

他的朋友启动引擎开始在机场跑道上滑行。约翰逊先生听说飞行中最危险的是起飞与降落,所以他吓得紧闭双眼。

过了一两分钟,他睁开双眼朝窗外望去,接着对朋友说道:?看下面那些人,他们看起来就象蚂蚁一样小,是不是?

那些就是蚂蚁,?他的朋友答道,?我们还在地面上。?

 有关短一些的英语小笑话带翻译篇3

my first and my last

when george was thirty-five, he bought a small plane and learned to fly it. he soon became very good and made his plane do all kinds of tricks.

george had a friend. his name was mark. one day george offered to take mark up in his plane. mark thought, "i've travelled in a big plane several times, but i've never been in a small one, so i'll go."

they went up, and george flew around for half an hour and did all kinds of tricks in the air.

when they came down again, mark was very glad to be back safely, and he said to his friend in a shaking voice, "well, george, thank you very much for those two trips in your plane."

gerogy was very surprised and said, "two trips?"

"yes, my first and my last," answered mark.

第一次与最后一次

乔治35岁时买了架小型飞机,并开始学习驾驶。不久,他就能很娴熟地驾机做各种各样的特技飞行了。

乔治有个朋友名叫马克。一天,乔治主动邀请马克乘他的飞机上天兜一圈。马克心想,?我乘大客机飞行过好几次,还从来没有乘过小飞机,我不妨试一试。?

升空后,乔治飞了有半个小时,在空中做了各种各样的飞行特技。

后来他们着陆了。马克很高兴能够安全返回地面。他用颤抖的声音对他的朋友说:?乔治,非常感谢你让我乘小飞机做了两次飞行。?

乔治非常吃惊地问:?两次飞行?

是的,我的第一次和最后一次。?马克答道。

英语笑话带翻译 短一些

关于英语的小短笑话

 人类历史上,人自从有了语言,就已经出现了开玩笑的语言,我收集了关于英语的小短笑话,欢迎阅读。

关于英语的小短笑话一

 One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"

关于英语的.小短笑话二

 a kiss At a dinner party, the speaker, who was the guest of honor, was about to deliver a speech when his wife sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word "KISS" scribbled on it. The guest seated next to the speaker said, "Your wife must love you very much, I see her send you a 'KISS' before you begin your speech." The speaker smiled and explained, "You don't know my wife. The 'KISS' she give me stands for 'Keep It Short, Stupid.'"

关于英语的小短笑话三

 A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"

 An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."

关于英语的小短笑话四

 The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party.Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment,he said,"Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow.When the door open,push with your foot."

 "Why use my elbow and foot?"

 "Well,gosh," was the reply,"You're not coming empty-hangded,are you?

关于英语的小短笑话五

 A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.

 "Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined.

 "You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"

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英语幽默短笑话10篇

简单的英语笑话带翻译:

1、What dog can jump higher than a building?什么狗比大楼跳的还高?

Anydog,buildings can't jump!任何一只狗,大楼又跳不起来。

3、What has a head,a tail,and no body?什么有头、有尾,但是没有身体?

A coin!硬币。

4、What has one eye but cannot see?什么有一只眼睛,却看不见?

A needle. 针。

5、Teacher:whoever answers my next question, can go home. 老师:谁能回到我下一个问题,谁就可以回家了。

One boy throws his bag out the window. 一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。

Teacher: who just threw that?老师:谁刚刚把书包扔出去了?

Boy: Me! I'm going home now. 男孩:我!我现在要回家了。

英语小笑话(带翻译)短些

 在繁忙的学习工作中,适时读一些幽默笑话,放松自己,劳逸结合十分重要。下面是我整理的10个英语幽默短笑话,希望大家喜欢!

英语幽默短笑话1.

 Mike:Mum,I want to watch TV.

 Mum:There is no electricity tonight.

 Mike:Then let's watch TVwith a candie on.

 迈克:妈妈,我想看电视。

 妈妈:今晚停电了。

 迈克:那我们就点着蜡烛看吧。

英语幽默短笑话2.

 The Fish Net

 "Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"

 "A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.

 "你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安?" 老师发问道。

 "把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。

英语幽默短笑话3.

 Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

 "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

 "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

 "She is the one who sells the candy."

 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

 ?昨天给你的钱干什么了?

 ?我给了一个可怜的老太婆,?他回答说。 ?你真是个好孩子,?妈妈骄傲地说。?再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?

 ?她是个卖糖果的。?

英语幽默短笑话4.

 I've Just Bitten My Tongue

 "Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.

 "Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"

 "Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "

 我刚咬破自己的舌头

 ?我们有毒吗?一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。

 ?是的,亲爱的,?她回答说,?你问这个干什么?

 ?因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。?

英语幽默短笑话5.

 It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"

 上下班高峰期,我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口,一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来,没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚,仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她,她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下,对我挤了一下眉,说道:?总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗?

英语幽默短笑话6.

 -- My uncle has 1000 men under him.

 -- He is really somebody. What does he do?

 -- A maintenance man in a cemetery.

 -- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。

 -- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的?

 -- 墓地守墓人。

英语幽默短笑话7.

 Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.

 At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

 一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久,到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台,银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票,看是否有假。

 这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦,最后实在忍耐不住说:?相信我,先生,也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元,它们是从美国直接带来的。?

英语幽默短笑话8.

 Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

 Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

 Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.

 布朗夫人:哦,亲爱的,我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!

 史密斯夫人:可是你该在报纸上登 广告 啊!

 布朗夫人:没有用的,我的小狗不认识字。?

英语幽默短笑话9.

 ?Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.

 -- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.

 -- Well, bring me the winner then.

 -- 服务员, 这个龙虾只有一只爪。

 -- 对不起,先生,这只肯定打过架了。

 -- 哦, 那给我那个打赢的吧。

英语幽默短笑话10.

 A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is n their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,"Get the kid."

 这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话,

 千万别进退休社区。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西,抬东西或者装东西时,他们就叫喊,?让小的干吧。?

?

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4. 10个英语幽默短笑话

5. 英语幽默笑话短

1、Goldfish金鱼

Stan: I won 92 goldfish.

Fred: Where are you going to keep them?

Stan: In the bathroom 。

Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?

Stan: Blindfold(蒙眼睛)them!

斯丹:我赢了 92 条金鱼。

弗雷德:你想在哪儿养它们?

斯丹:浴室。

弗雷德:但是你想洗澡时怎么办?

斯丹:蒙住它们的眼睛!

2、 The Revenge 欺骗的代价

Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With alow voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmerJones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson:"But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jonesonce cheated me in a horse deal!"

老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说:“我死后,我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。” 妻子说:“不,在你死后,我不能嫁给任何人。” 约翰逊:“但我希望你这么做。” 妻子:“为什么?” 约翰逊:“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。”

3、I think that I'm a chicken 我想我是一只鸡

Psychiatrist: What's your problem?

Patient: I think I'm a chicken.

Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?

Patient: Ever since I was an egg!

精神病医师:你哪里不舒服?

病人:我认为我是一只鸡。

精神病医师:这种情况从什么时候开始的?

病人:从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。

4、How do I get the gum out我怎么把口香糖取出来

Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keeptheir ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed upto her and said, "I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum outfrom my ears?"

当空中**给乘客们发口香糖的时候,她解释说口香糖有助于他们防止耳鸣。飞机着陆后,一位乘客跑到这位空中**面前,说道:“ 我马上就要见到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖从耳朵里面取出来呢?”

5、 Where Am I 我在哪儿

An Englishman lost his way while he was driving in the countryside. He saw afarmer working in the field nearby, so he went nearer in his car and asked the farmer,"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" "Yes, " the farmerlooked at him strangely and said, "you are in your car, sir."

一个英国人在乡下开车时迷了路,他看见一个农民正在附近的地里干活。于是他就把车开过去问那位农民:“劳驾,您能告诉我我现在这是在哪儿吗?” “可以。”农夫奇怪地看了看他,然后说道:“你现在在你的车子里,先生。”

6、Chiefis at the wedding 长官在婚礼上

A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street.

"But officer," the man said, "I can explain."

"Just be quiet," snapped the officer."I'm going to put you injail until the chief gets back."

"But ,officer, I …."

"I said to keep quiet! You are going to jail!"

A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Youare lucky because the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a goodmood when he gets back."

"Are you sure?" answered the man in the cell. "I'm thegroom."

大街上的一个超速驾驶者被警察拦住了。“但是警官”这个人说道,“我可以解释的”。“保持安静”,警察突然说道。“我将把你送往监狱,直到长官回来。“但是,警察,我,,,”。“我说过了保持安静,你要到监狱了。”几小时后,警察向监狱里看了看说道“算你运气好,因为我们的长官正在他女儿的婚礼上。他将带着一个愉快的心情回来的。” “你确定”在牢房里的这个人说道。“我就是新郎呀”。

7、Who Is the Laziest 谁最懒

Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you aquestion. Who is the laziest person in your class?

Tom: I don't know, father.

Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing andwriting, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?

Tom: Our teacher, father.

父亲:哎,汤姆,今天我跟你们老师谈过,现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒?汤姆:我不知道,爸爸。父亲:啊,不对,你知道!想想看,当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时,谁在课堂上坐着,只是看人家做功课?汤姆:我们老师,爸爸。

8、TwoBirds 两只鸟

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now whocan tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside theswallow.

老师: 这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗?学生:我指不出,但我知道答案。老师:请说说看。学生:燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子。