给我讲笑话的英文_给我讲笑话的英文怎么写

给我讲笑话的英文_给我讲笑话的英文怎么写

       下面，我将用我自己的方式来解释给我讲笑话的英文的问题，希望我的回答能够对大家有所帮助。让我们开始讨论一下给我讲笑话的英文的话题。

1.英语小笑话带翻译100个

2.笑话用英语怎样说?

3.英语幽默笑话带翻译？

英语小笑话带翻译100个

       Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?

       A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.

       猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？

       Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?

       A: By treading on his corn?

       如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。

       Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?

       A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.

       因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢？

       Q: What do people do in a clock factory?

       A: They make faces all day.

       一看到make faces这个短语，你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀！因为除了这个意思以外，它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。

       Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?

       A: Keep him awake.

       怎样才能不让梦游者（sleepwalker）梦游（walk in his sleep）呢？最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。虽然这不是治疗方法，但如果让梦游者醒着呢，他的确就不会去梦游了。

       英语笑话（二）

       He is really somebody

       -- My uncle has 1000 men under him.

       -- He is really somebody. What does he do?

       -- A maintenance man in a cemetery.

       他真是一个大人物

       -- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。

       -- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？

       -- 墓地守墓人。

       英语笑话（三）

       Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.

       At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

       它们是从美国直接带来的

       一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。

       这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”

       英语笑话（四）my little dog can't read

       Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

       Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

       Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.

       我的狗不识字

       布朗夫人：哦，

       亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！

       史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！

       布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”

       英语笑话（五）Bring me the winner

       -- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.

       -- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.

       -- Well, bring me the winner then.

       给我那个打赢的吧

       -- 服务员，

       这个龙虾只有一只爪。

       -- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。

       -- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。

       英语笑话（六）The mean man's party.

       The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

       "Why use my elbow and foot?"

       "Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"

       吝啬鬼请客

       一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”

       “为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”

       “你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。

       英语笑话（七）Advice for "Kid"

       A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is n their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,"Get the kid."

       忠告“年轻者”

       这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话，

       千万别进退休社区。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们就叫喊，“让小的干吧。”

       英语笑话（八）Which woman?

       One evening I drove my husband's car to the shopping mall.

       On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.When I finally entered the house, I called out."The woman who loves you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield."

       My husband looked up and said, "Mom's here?"

       哪一位女人？

       一天晚上我开着丈夫的车去购物，回来后发现车身沾满灰尘，于是擦洗了一阵。当我终于走进屋里时大声喊：“世界上最爱你的女人刚擦洗了你的车灯和挡风玻璃。”

       我丈夫抬头看了看，说：“妈妈来了？”

       英语笑话（九）The doctor lives downstairs

       "Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."

       He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."

       医生住在楼下

       “医生”她冲进屋后大声说道。

       “我想让你坦率地说我到底得了什么病。”

       他从头到脚打量打量她，然后大声说：“太太，我有三件事要对你说。第一，您的体重需要减少大约50磅；第二，如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口红，您的美貌将会改变。第三，我是一位画家——医生住在楼下。”

       英语笑话（十）One Engine Left

       A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, "Attention, passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a r esult."

       Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, "Guess what, folks. We just lost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late."

       At this point, one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake," he shouted, "If we lose another engine, we'll be up here all night!"

       只剩一个引擎

       一架747客机正在跨越大西洋时，喇叭里传来了机长的声音：“旅客们请注意，我们的四个引擎中有一个丢失了。但剩下的三个引擎会把我们带到伦敦的。只是我们要因此晚到一小时 。” 过了一会儿，旅客们又听到机长的声音：“各位，你们猜怎么啦 ？我们刚又掉了第三个引擎。但请你们相信好了。只有一个引擎我们也能飞，但要晚三个小时了。” 正在这时，一位乘客非常气愤地说：“看在上帝的份上，如果我们再掉一个引擎，我们就要整夜都要呆在天上了。”

       回答者：lovemydream - 高级经理 七级 7-5 10:08

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       评论者： YABNV - 魔法学徒 一级

       其他回答共 2 条

       Logic Reasoning 逻辑推理

       A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.

       "Here is the situation," she said. "a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yellin

       g for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"

       A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?"

       逻辑推理

       小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课。她举了这么一个例子：“有这样一种情况，一个男人在河中心的船上钓鱼，突然失去重心掉进了水里。于是他开始挣扎并喊救命。他的妻子听到了他的喊声，知道他并不会游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。谁能告诉我这是为什么？” 一个女生举手答道，“是不是去取他的存款？”

       [注]bank在英语中除了我们平时很熟悉的“银行”之外，还有“河岸”的意思。

       Have You Ceased Beating Your Wife？你停止打你老婆了吗?

       This story is told of a browbeating counsel，who habitually endeavored to terrorize his opponent‘s witnesses．

       One witness rather tended to preface his replies with lengthy explanations．

       “I want‘yes’or‘no，’”thundered counsel．“There is no need for you to argue the point！”

       “But there are some questions which cannot be answered by‘yes’or‘no，’”mildly responded the witness．

       “There are not！” snapped the lawyer．

       “Oh，” said the witness，“answer this then：“Have you ceased beating your wife？”

       这个故事讲的是一个咄咄逼人的辩护律师，他惯于尽量去恐吓对方的证人。

       有一个证人有点倾向于在回答问题之前做冗长的解释。

       “我要你回答‘是’或者‘不是’，”辩护律师怒喝道： “你没有必要就这个问题进行争论。”

       “可是有些问题无法用‘是’或者‘不是’来回答。”这位证人温和地回敬他。

       “不存在这样的问题！”律师厉声打断他。

       “噢，”证人说：“那么请你回答这个问题：“你停止打你老婆了吗？”

       Two Birds

       Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

       Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

       Teacher: Please tell us.

       Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

       两只鸟

       老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？

       学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。

       老师：请说说看。

       学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

       "Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"

       "A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.

       鱼网

       "你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？" 老师发问道。

       "把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。

       昨天夜里我爸妈表演“混合双打”

       Teacher of Physical Education: Have you ever seen mixed doubles，boys？

       体育老师：孩子们，你们见过男女混合双打吗？

       Nick: Yes，sir. Quite of ten. I saw it even last night.

       尼克：见过，老师，经常见。就在昨天夜里我还见过呢！

       Teacher: Please tell us some thing about it.

       老师：那你给大家讲讲当时的情形吧。

       Nick: Oh，sorry，sir. My father always says, "Domestic shame should not be published.”

       尼克：啊，对不起，老师。我爸爸常说:“家丑不可外扬。”(

       抄的..

笑话用英语怎样说?

       讲有趣的笑话英文是Tell interesting jokes。

       1、有趣： interesting?;?amusing?;?fascinating?;?zest。

       2、笑话 ：joke?;?laugh at?;?funny?;?jest?;?ridicule?;?jape?;?rib-tickl。

       双语例句：

       1、He is good at telling funny jokes and makes me laugh。他擅长讲有趣的笑话使我大笑。

       2、She's?got?a?fund?of?amusing?stories。她会讲许多有趣的笑话。

       3、His?very?funny?joke?soon?conjured?my?anger?away。他讲了个十分有趣的笑话，使得我的怒气顿消。

       4、He?is?telling?a?very?funny?joke。他正在讲一个非常有趣的笑话。

有趣的笑话范文：

       Goethe was once strolling on a narrow path in a park in Weimar。As luck would have it，he met with a critic who was hostile to him。Both of them stopped，staring at each other。Then the critic said，“Il never make way for a fool”。“But I will”。with that Goethe retreated aside。

       一次，歌德正在魏玛一个公园的。一条狭窄小道上散步碰巧他遇见一个对他怀有敌意的评论家两人都停了下来，彼此相互对视。接着评论家说道：“我从来不给傻瓜让路”。“可我给”。说完歌德退到了一边。

英语幽默笑话带翻译？

       简明英汉词典 joke [d?0?1?0?5uk] n. 笑话, 玩笑 可笑的人、事物、情形 His colleagues regard him as a joke. 他的同事们把他当作取笑的对象。 vt. & vi. 开玩笑, 戏弄 Don't be upset; I was only joking. 不要生气, 我只是开玩笑。 Google 网络词典 Joke 隐藏摘要 玩笑 摘要 Joke (玩笑) 不二很喜欢开玩笑。他喜欢捉弄别人，甚至万年冰山不化的手冢，别人都不 敢去招惹，冒着跑圈的危险，他都会想要去调侃。他远远不像表面那样老好人。 ... hi.baidu.com - 相关网页 笑话连篇 摘要 joke版(进版画面 | 添加到收藏夹 ). joke(笑话连篇) 版. 版主 版主man2003. 本版在线 人数 在线3 人 本版文章数 文章173 篇, 文摘区 文摘区 | 精华区 精华区 | 版内查询 ... bbs.nxu.edu.cn - 相关网页 joke 隐藏摘要 说笑话 摘要 centigrade n．摄氏温度 degree n．度，度数(温度单位) temperature n．温度 freezing adj. 冰冻的，严寒的 snowy adj．多雪的；下雪的 joke v．开玩笑；说笑话 ... bbs.pep.com.cn - 相关网页 用法词典 joke 来自拉丁语的 jocus. 源自罗马神国之王 Jove最喜欢开玩笑

       

        　下面是我整理的，欢迎大家阅读!

        ：If I Am a Manager

        　One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a position – if I Am a Manager.

        　All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.

       

        　“I am waiting for my secretary,” was the boy’s answer.

        　一天课上，老师要同学们以“如果我是一个经理”为题写一篇作文。

        　所有的学生都在动笔写了，只有一个男生例外。老师走过去问他为什么不写。

        　“我在等我的秘书”。那孩子答道。

        ：Isn’t it wonderful?

        　"What are you so happy about?"a woman asked the 98-year-old man.

        　"I broke a mirror," he replied.

        　"But that means seven years of bad luck."

        　"I know." he said, beaming,"Isn’t it wonderful?"

        　这难道不好吗?

        　“你高兴什么?”一个女士问一个98岁的老人。

        　“我打碎了一个镜子。”他回答。

        　“但那预示著7年的坏运气。”

        　“我知道。”他高兴地说，“这难道不好吗?”

        ：Whats time to a pig?

        　One day a visitor from the city came to a *** all rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"

        　一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地 上，手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的，好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。城里人对农夫说，"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫 回答说，“时间对猪有什么意义?”

        ：我和老师的故事

        　Teacher: Tom and John! Why are you late for school today?

        　老师：汤姆!约翰!你俩今天为什么迟到了!

        　Tom: Madam, I lost a one-dollar coin and was searching for it.

        　汤姆：老师，我一直在找我丢失的一美元硬币。

        　Teachear: John, what about you?

        　老师：那么你呢，约翰?

        　John: Madam, I was not able to move beacause I was hiding that coin under my feet.

        　约翰：老师，我不能动啊，我把他的硬币藏脚底下了。

        ：再见

        　Two tomatoes go shopping, a tomato suddenly walk fast, the second tomato asks: "where shall we go?" The first tomato has no answer, the second tomato asked again. The tomato has no answer, so the second tomato asked again. The first tomato finally turned slowly, said: "we are not tomatoes? We can talk?"

        　两颗番茄去逛街，第一颗番茄突然走得很快，第二颗番茄就问：“我们要去哪里?” 第一颗番茄没有回答，第二颗番茄又问了一次。 第一颗番茄还没回答，所以第二颗番茄又问了一次。 第一颗番茄终于慢慢转头说：“我们不是番茄吗?我们会说话吗?”

        ：

        　On a trip to Disney World in Florida, my hu *** and and I and our two children devoted ourselves wholeheartedly to the wonders of this attraction. After three exhausting days, we headed for home.

        　As we drove away, our son waved and said, "Goodbye, Mickey."

        　Our daughter waved and said, "Goodbye, Minnie."

        　My hu *** and waved, rather weakly, and said, "Goodbye, Money."

        　迪斯尼之旅 弗罗里达州的迪斯尼乐园是一个迷人的地方。一次我和丈夫以及两个孩子前往旅游，我们全身心地沉醉在它的各种奇观之中。精疲力竭地玩了三天之后，我们要回家了。

        　当我们驱车离开时，儿子挥手说：“再见，美奇。”

        　女儿挥着手说，“再见，美妮。”

        　丈夫也有气无力地挥了挥手，说道：“再见，美元。”

        ：Goldfish 金鱼

        　Stan: I won 92 goldfish.

        　斯丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼。

        　Fred: Where are you going to keep them?

        　弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们?

        　Stan: In the bathroom.

        　斯丹：浴室。

        　Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?

        　弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办?

        　Stan: Blindfold***蒙眼睛*** them!

        　斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛!

        ：I am acting like a lady 我要表现得像一位女士

        　One day women's dresses were on sale at a department store. A dignified middle-aged man decided to pick a dress for his wife, but soon he found himself being battered by frantic women.

        　一天，一家百货公司的女装大减价，一位高贵的中年男士想给他的太太挑选一件女装。但是，没过多久，他就发现自己已被疯狂的女人们撞得踉踉跄跄。

        　He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowd.

        　他竭力地忍耐著。后来，他低下头，挥舞双臂，挤过人群。

        　"You there!" challenged a thrilling voice. "Can't you act like a gentleman?"

        　“你干嘛?”有人尖声叫道，“你难道不能表现得像一位绅士吗?”

        　"Listen," he said. "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."

        　“听着，”他说。“我已经像绅士一样表现了一个小时了。从现在起，我要表现得像一位女士。”

        ：Good Sight 好视力

        　Lawyer: You say you were about thirty-five feet away from the scene of the accident? Just how far can you see clearly?

        　Witness: Well, when I wake up in the morning I see the Sun, and they tell me it's about ninety-three million miles away.

        　律师：你说你离事故现场约有35英尺，你能看清多远的东西?

        　证人：这么说吧，早上起床后我看见太阳，别人告诉我这大约有9300万英里远。

       好了，关于“给我讲笑话的英文”的话题就讲到这里了。希望大家能够对“给我讲笑话的英文”有更深入的了解，并且从我的回答中得到一些启示。